Wellness Center to Prescribe Medical Marijuana and Good Vibes

The Wellness Center at St. Mary’s College of Maryland announced on March 26 that they will start prescribing medical marijuana to students beginning this April. They plan to set it up like a “small dispensary” in the meditation room, and will provide it as a resource for eligible students experiencing a wide range of illnesses and ailments.

One of the Wellness Center employees in support of prescribing medical marijuana explained that in order to combat stress from school and general sicknesses, perhaps all students really need is to “inhale the good shit and exhale the bad shit.” When asked for their opinion on the possibility of backlash from people who are against marijuana, they stated that “this school is already full of hippies, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.” Some of the Wellness Center staff apparently took some convincing to agree on the importance of using medical marijuana to help students, but after some deliberation and research the consensus was that it is a positive move.

Public Safety officers are not particularly thrilled about the decision. One anonymous officer commented that they have already begun to enforce parking tickets much more frequently because they “will not know what to do with their time” once they are no longer able to write so many students up for smoking weed. Another officer expressed concern about how “all of the dorms will smell so dank.”

In order to combat this, there will be a few suites in the back corners of Waring Commons specifically for medical marijuana approved students, in order to leave many housing options for other students who are not comfortable with being around the drug. Imagine safe housing, but for weed. Another change that will be implemented will be that eligible students will have a marijuana leaf printed on their OneCards in order to ensure that they will not be penalized for using or possessing if they are approved.

Hopefully this decision will be a very positive thing for the student body. One student explained that they are enthusiastic about it because it will “keep students safe from the possibility of accidentally buying laced weed or, even worse, overpriced weed.” Furthermore, it will likely reduce the amount of drug-related crimes committed on campus (anyone remember the BB-gun robbery?) as drug dealers will have much fewer customers.

The Peer Health Educators will hold classes on different strains, routes of administration and overall information for students who are medical marijuana patients. “We will hold make-your-own bong workshops and help people learn how to use pipes” explained one Peer Health Educator. This will ensure that students are knowledgeable and safe about what they are putting into their bodies.

Be sure to make an appointment at the Wellness Center if you are interested in checking your eligibility for school-provided medical marijuana. As stated before, there are many different illnesses that medical marijuana can be prescribed to treat. We can expect to see many students suddenly and mysteriously developing insomnia, chronic pain and severe nausea in the coming weeks.

Office of Planning and Facilities Unveils Direct Sewage-to-River Pipeline

The Office of Planning and Facilities has unveiled plans for a new, 10,000 foot long pipeline to direct sewage from campus directly into the St. Mary’s River and St. John’s Pond.

The Sharon Hope Ingills-Thompson Pipeline, named after former St. Mary’s College of Maryland (SMCM) President Dr. S.H. Ingills-Thompson, will carry thousands of gallons of raw sewage directly into the St. Mary’s River and St. Johns Pond 24 hours a day. “We’ve noticed people get really excited when we spill sewage into the St. Mary’s River, especially before events like the Polar Bear Plunge, so we decided to just cut out the middleman,” a spokesperson for the project said, “we are very excited to see what happens when we are just constantly dumping sewage into the river.”

Sources have indicated that St. John’s Pond and the St. Mary’s River will be “completely uninhabitable within minutes” of the pipelines’ initial spewing. The pipeline will collect sewage from all buildings on campus, and should keep a steady supply of sewage going into the river throughout its operation.

The SHIT pipeline is expected to be complete in September of 2020, and an official ribbon-cutting ceremony is scheduled for the weekend of Hawktoberfest, so parents, visitors and alumni can attend.

SGA Votes to Become Monarchy Under King Andrew Messick

On March 22, 2019, the St. Mary’s College of Maryland (SMCM) Student Government Association (SGA) held an emergency meeting regarding the future of the SGA Executive Board.

“I realized we were in trouble about halfway through 50 days,” Andrew Messick (Blessings Be) told The Point News (TPN). “My complimentary champagne bottle was almost empty and the fancy cheese coma was setting in, when it came to me: I had only 50 days left as SGA President. What’s worse is that, despite all the emails we sent out to our constituents to vote on the 2019-2020 executive board, we’ve only gotten a 15% response rate.”

While a low rate of voter turnout may be acceptable in other governments, like the United States, it is unheard of for the SMCM SGA. This worried Messick (Blessings Be). “With only a 15% voter turnout, there was no way any ‘winner’ would actually be representative of the wants and needs of the student body.” Messick (Blessings Be) immediately sent an email out to members of the SGA to meet by the light of the moon at Church Point by the time the bell tower struck midnight. Director of Campus Programming Rose Glenn made sure to bring s’mores, as a meeting of such gravity would require snacks.

Davita Fennell, Messick’s (Blessings Be) vice president, told TPN, “We started out by discussing the issue at hand, that there was no clear heir to the Messick presidency. With the semesters of peace and prosperity we experienced under Messick, the possibility of stepping into unknown waters terrified everyone. Without a strong leader, we would surely be ransacked by the Townies or have members of the student body conscripted into service by the University of Maryland.”

And so the solution was clear: A future without President Messick (Blessings Be) must never come to pass. While a democracy is standard in fair governing, it does not account for the presence of a strong leadership that outshines the competition. “We took an oath to protect and serve the student body at all costs,” Messick (Blessings Be) said. “Whatever was in the best interest of the student body, we would do. Monarchy just so happened to be in their best interest.”

The Messick Clause was unanimously passed, allowing for, in the case of a particularly exemplary SGA President, a monarchy in order to maintain the heightened quality of life under such leadership. All executive roles will switch over to stately ranking, with a small parliament of representatives kept on to run the day-to-day minutia of the Student Government.

Most executive members found themselves pleasantly surprised over this turn of events. “I never thought I’d become a Lord,” Lord Tim Baer told TPN. “Will Lord of Clubs look good on my resume?” Lord Jake Miller said, “So I’m Lord Treasurer now. Do you think that means clubs will finally get their fund allocation forms in on time?”

While there will no doubt be growing pains as the student body adjusts to this change, King Messick (Blessings Be) is already settled in his role. On March 24, his royal highness was seen moving his things into the former Alumni Lodge, now Messick Castle. As for his 2019 graduation? He told us, “What’s a degree to a king? I already know everything.”

Shocking Realization: Dean Brown Doesn’t Know How to Play Connect Four

It has come to our realization that Dean of Students at St. Mary’s College of Maryland (SMCM) Leonard Brown does not know how to play America’s beloved party game Connect Four. Multiple students have come out about playing the board game with Brown, only coming to realize that the college administrator does not know the rules of the game.

Connect Four has been providing people of all ages with easy going fun ever since its creation in 1974. A satisfying two-player game, its goal is to align four checker-like pieces in a vertical, blue grid before your competitor can. The game is recommended for ages 7 and up, so it would be expected that a grown man would be able to play the game with ease.

Brown offered to play Connect Four in SMCM’s renowned coffee shop, the Grind, with students as a way of bonding with them. The purpose of this was for the students express their suggestions with improving the college’s policies and to ask questions about his part in the college’s community. He called the phenomenon “Connecting with the Dean.” Unfortunately, this idea didn’t go as smoothly as expected.

“It was an awkward experience,” confesses one terrified student. “I just wanted to express my concerns regarding the lack funding that SMCM allots to the Wellness Center–that’s a big problem by the way–but Dean Brown was so focused on figuring out the game that he wasn’t even listening to me.”

Although the game’s average playing time ranges from one to 10 minutes, one student mentioned that an hour had passed and the game still wasn’t finished yet. “At one point, the dean reached over to my side of the table and tried to steal some of my pieces to rig the game. I was looking straight at him! Did he really think I wouldn’t notice?” The student mentioned that it was an emotional experience.

Every individual that went to “Connecting with the Dean” mentioned that nothing good came from the meetings. “Whenever I tried to mention an academic or administrative matter, the dean just politely shushed me and told me that he was focusing on the game. Couldn’t he have picked another game if Connect Four was so challenging?” An angry freshman reflected on her experience as she toggled with the idea of transfering to a different college.

Another student mentioned that he asked Brown to leave during the middle of the game, but when he did, the dean expressed distress. “The man threatened to report me to my lacrosse coach if I didn’t finish the game! I decided that it wasn’t worth it to stay and got as far away from the Grind as I could.”

Witnesses saw Brown scowling and pouting as he walked around SMCM after the scene. We tried to obtain a quote from Brown, but he declined to comment on the matter. Who knew playing such a safe game would deepen the divide between the faculty and students.

Club Submits Funding Appeal Late, Surprised they got Denied

One of the primary tasks of the Student Government Association- creating the budget for the vast majority of student activities on campus- is under fire yet again as students from the Ant Farming Club insist they have been wronged by King Messick for personal reasons. Messick, of course, is a man of integrity and would never do such a thing.

Club President Ann T. Formicidae told The Point News in an exclusive interview that she’s certain the vote from the Student Government Association not to fund the clubs trip to the beaches of Hawaii had nothing to do with their failure to show up at the yearly budget meeting with the SGA Treasurer. “Our budget request was bare bones”, Formicidae said, adding that “We opted for only a 4 Star Resort, and didn’t even ask for the all-inclusive package.”

“There are ants in Hawaii,” said Sol Geminata, in response to one of the senator’s questions about how the club was justifying their expenditure, “and we want to see them.”

After the bill to fund the trip failed, King Messick politely informed the petitioners that if they had followed the standard procedure in requesting funding, they would be more likely to get it. But this answer simply wasn’t enough to satiate the die-hard “ant enthusiasts.

“It’s like they’re telling us insects don’t matter. All we wanted to do was learn, and the so-called “College” won’t let us do that? I thought College was about learning, but clearly I was wrong. The SGA doesn’t care about learning, they just care about saving money.”

The Point News was able to reach King Messick for comment on the matter. He denied the claims that the vote against funding the trip was personal, and stated that the SGA does, in fact, care about learning. “To be fair though, we do also care about saving money. That’s kind of how budgets work.”

King Messick also informed The Point News that the SGA simply doesn’t have the money to fund every club’s travel expenses. With a budget of $4.50, a paperclip, and some pocket lint, a trip to Hawaii was simply not in the cards for any club on campus. Luckily, Messick has been able to allocate funds to a few clubs already. The bouncy ball club was able to purchase a $1 ball for club use, and the Creative Writing Club got a new pack of pencils for $2. The Peer Health Educators were able to secure funding for a single condom, which will be used and reused at demonstrations. They do not, however, recommend reusing condoms under any other circumstances. The Outdoor Adventure Club claimed the pocket lint, a good fire starter for their club bonfires.

“That’s just ridiculous”, Formicidae said of the other clubs secured funding. “How come they get money and we don’t? Is it because there’s actually enough money for the things they were requesting? Or because their purchases would benefit more students than ours? It’s so unfair.”

Fumigation Attempts Only Made the Cockroaches Stronger

Late Thursday night, screams of terror were heard from the first right hall of Queen Anne’s dormitory. Despite the College’s best efforts to fumigate over spring break, the cockroaches are back, and with a vengeance. A local extermination specialist gave his theory about what may have happened: “I’ve seen this a few times before. In rare cases of pests who may have ingested chemical substances, specifically cosmetic products, fumigation may have adverse effects, only making them stronger.” This is especially a concern for Queen Anne, where a major perfume spill contaminated the water supply only days before students packed and left for spring break.

Over the past few days, the halls have become battle grounds, with cockroaches routinely outgrowing residents. Studies have been abandoned in favor of sword fighting to keep the mutant pests at bay. The cumulative GPA of the dormitory, according to the statistics that St. Mary’s administrators keep to pit the dorm residents against each other, has dropped significantly. “My bracket is ruined,” one senior faculty member lamented “I don’t know how it will ever recover.” All is not lost, however, as students in the tournament are awarded points for resourcefulness. In order protect their rooms against giant cockroaches, Queen Anne’s residents have taken to sharpening curtain rods and bedposts into makeshift spears. Cockroach shish kebabs line the hall like grotesque totem poles, markers of the horrors the hall has seen. Many have compared it to Lord of The Flies, but with cockroaches. And girls. “Lady of The Roaches.”

In a strange twist, not all residents find the cockroaches to be unwelcome invaders. The far end of the hall has been dubbed the Roach Fan Club. Cockroaches have become roommates, replacing residents who fled the hall in favor of the safer Prince George and Caroline halls. They advocate for equal rights for roaches, pro-roach propaganda written all over the whiteboards on the outside of dorms. “They’re actually very intelligent creatures.” One member stated, “They are widely misunderstood. If more people would just show up to our ‘Learning to Click: Human and Cockroach Relationships’ seminar, I think they would have an entirely different outlook.” Upon attending the weekly meeting, investigators found two members of the Roach Fan Club locked in the bicycle closet while the largest cockroaches ate the vending machines and plotted campus takeover. Fortunately, the hostages were physically unharmed, but they are seriously reconsidering their club membership.

The power hungry roaches have been apprehended, and are in public safety custody as the college searches the country for a cockroach click to English translator who can hopefully clear up the situation. Until then, the hall lives in a state of tension and grief. Tension for the residents who have to become accustomed to this new living situation and the politics of roach relations, and grief for the cockroaches who are often reduced to tearful clicks as they are forced to pass their beloved dead in the halls when they leave the safety of their rooms in search of water, crumbs, or human flesh. “I almost feel bad for them.” One warrior against the roaches said in a matter-of-fact tone as she cleanly beheaded a young roach hiding in the showers. Until the situation has been resolved, the college has recommended that students remain vigilant and keep the residents of Queen Anne first right in their thoughts.

Malaga, Cepero Santos Win SGA Presidential Election

Townhouse Senator Rebecca Malaga (’20), and her running mate, Senate Leader Roselyanne Cepero Santos (’21), have officially been nominated as the SGA Presidential candidates following a tense election against Lewis Quad Senator Joseph Perriello (’21) and his running mate, PG Senator Anna Pence (’21).

The election concluded at midnight Saturday morning, and Malaga’s victory became clear soon after. The official results were announced at the SGA meeting on Tuesday, March 26.

Both candidates spent the election season heavily using social media to spread their names and platforms, with both candidates purchasing Snapchat filters, printing flyers, and sharing their platforms online.

“We worked really hard to have a strong social media presence,” Malaga said, “my main goal was to engage with as many people as possible because I thought that would be more beneficial in the long run than more passive techniques.”

Malaga stated that she “was anticipating a very close election,” and was “really surprised by how many people supported us.”

“Our supporters really had our back and carried us through the election,” Malaga said, “I think it’s really important that I make sure to give my supporters credit for this as well because there’s no way it could have happened without them.”

In addition to the presidential candidates, Colin Sweatt (’20) was elected to become the next SGA Treasurer, and Aissatou Thawe (’20) was elected to become the next Director of Campus Programming.

Election season is still far from over, as Senators for next year’s Senate still need to be elected by their respective residences. Elections for Senators will be held from April 17 through April 19, and again next semester to determine First Year Senators.

Ilhan Omar and True American Anti-Semitism

Published on behalf of Zach Mossburg

One of the most controversial topics in foreign policy both within the United States and with our allies is our relationship with Israel and their treatment of Palestinians. One of the only people who has dared to step up and criticize Israel in any manner recently is newly elected Congresswoman from Minnesota, Ilhan Omar; a black, Muslim, immigrant from Somalia. Omar’s criticisms can be summed up in two of her quotes. The first of which is a tweet, in which she states that “I should not be expected to have allegiance/pledge support for a foreign country in order to serve my country in Congress or serve on a committee.” Her second quote, which she gave during a town hall, is as follows: “I want to talk about the political influence in this country that says it is okay for people to push for allegiance to a foreign country.”

These quotes and others have gotten Omar in very hot water with both Republicans and members of her own party. Anti-semitism accusations have been thrown her way from op-ed pages and morning shows across the country. A bipartisan resolution was passed in Congress that condemned anti-semitism, along with other forms of hate, and while Omar was not mentioned by name in the resolution it was clearly directed at her comments. In fact, Omar herself supported the resolution. The main charge filed against her is of accusing American Jews of “dual loyalty.” For many years, American Jews were accused of having loyalty to both the US and Israel, a charge that was anti-semitic as it was used to allege that all Jews were suspect and could not be trusted.

However, Omar’s comments do not accuse American Jews of any dual loyalty – in fact, her remarks do not accuse American Jews of anything. Omar’s comments accuse U.S. Representatives of dual loyalty, and the reaction to her comments proves her criticism. The specific facts that Omar alleges should be uncontroversial; politicians of both parties have fallen under the influence of AIPAC, one of the largest Israel lobbies in America and an extension of the Israeli right-leaning party Likud Party. Take this quote from Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, a staunch Democrat, from a panel discussion this past December: “I have said to people when they ask me, if this capital crumbles to the ground, the one thing that will remain is our commitment to our aid – and I don’t even call it aid, our cooperation – with Israel.” Or this tweet by representative Juan Vargas, a Democrat on the Committee of foreign affairs, in which he asserts that “questioning support for the U.S.-Israel relationship is unacceptable.” This is exactly the dual loyalty that Omar was railing against; the inability to even question our country’s relationship with and active support of an apartheid state. The reaction from members of her own party is an attempt to enforce this dual loyalty and to make sure that criticism, such as that leveled by Omar, gets punished in the most visible way possible.

The other issue with the reaction to Omar’s comments is that her opponents are not arguing in good faith. Her own party, who claims to care about the voices of the marginalized, are actively working to silence this marginalized voice. Not one of Omar’s critics has acknowledged that their resolution is requiring of Omar the exact thing that she is critical of: a “push for allegiance to a foreign country.” Additionally, the most vocal Americans pushing back against Omar are not Jewish, but evangelical Christians who have nonetheless submitted to AIPAC’s demands. When the most prominent advocates for Israel in the American public are evangelical Christians who have no experience with or idea of what true, dangerous anti-semitism is, this accusation of “dual loyalty” by Omar loses all meaning as a slur against Jews. AIPAC and the politicians beholden to it have worked tirelessly to make sure that any criticism of Israel in US politics is silenced, and the machine they have assembled came out in full-force after Omar’s comments. Omar was concerned about what was being demanded of her and other members of Congress, not about how American Jews feel about Israel. The point of censoring Omar is not to condemn anti-semitism: it is about confining the conversation around Israel and Palestine to a realm in which it is impossible to even discuss Palestinian liberation or Israeli war crimes.

Omar’s criticism does not threaten the lives of American Jews or other marginalized people as is being claimed in the American media, but the Republican party’s open acceptance of white nationalism and anti-semitism does. Take for example the deadliest anti-semitic attack in American history mere months ago. This attack occurred during the height of the “immigration crisis” at the border with Mexico – a crisis created and completely sustained by Trump, his allies and his media machine – in which prominent Republicans claimed that the migrant caravan, making its way from Central America, was funded by Jewish philanthropist George Soros. Two hours before the attack, the shooter posted a message online claiming that the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society, reveled in bringing invaders that “kill our people.” This conspiratorial and dangerous thinking continued even days after the attack, with President Trump claiming he “wouldn’t be surprised” if Soros was funding the caravan. As author Joshua Leifer puts it in an article for The Guardian, “it should not be difficult to recognize the meaningful distinction between Ilhan Omar’s recent comments and the kind of antisemitism… that led a right wing extremist to murder jews in a synagogue.”

Directly after this monstrous attack would have been the perfect time for a congressional resolution decrying anti-semitism in all of its forms. Alternatively, there could have been a resolution after the 2018 midterms in which numerous GOP politicians trafficked in classic anti-semitic tropes. Like when (however tweeted) posted tweets with Jewish Democratic candidates and donors surrounded by stacks of cash and other symbols of antisemitism, or then-House Majority leader Kevin McCarthy tweeting an anti-semitic ad warning that three Jewish billionaires were planning to buy/steal the election. Or Congress could’ve passed a robust resolution decrying anti-semitism in 2017 when Neo-Nazi’s marched on Charlottesville, VA chanting “Jews will not replace us!” and “Blood and soil,” a Nazi slogan. Or Congress could have passed a similar resolution when later that weekend, after a Neo-Nazi ran over and killed counter protester Heather Heyer, Trump declared that there were “fine people” on both sides. Or Congress could have removed Representative Steve King – a practically self-avowed white nationalist who consistently perpetuates classically anti-semitic tropes – at literally any time in the past two years. The lack of desire to prosecute actual, harmful anti-semitism is screaming out – yet you still have people like Meghan McCain, an evangelical Christian, going on TV and literally crying, saying how scared she was of Omar’s comments. It would not be disingenuous to assume that what she was actually afraid of was an intelligent black Muslim woman with a voice and with power. The choice of Democratic leaders to join with the GOP in denouncing anti-semitism only in this case, only in the context of attempting to silence Omar instead of in the numerous displays of anti-semitic forces still at play on the right, proves decisively that the Democratic party is not working to protect American Jews; they are working to protect the Judeo-Christian American Empire.


The Washington Redskins Need a Quarterback

On March 11, the Washington Redskins signed former New York Giants pro bowl safety, Landon Collins to a six-year, $84 million deal. After years of mediocracy, the team must continue to improve– especially at quarterback.

After signing the Pro Bowl safety to a shocking mega-deal, the front office has signaled that the team is not waiting around or going into a rebuild. They are in win-now mode in an attempt to regain the faith of the fanbase that has meandered off since the Redskins have only made the playoffs twice over the course of ten years.

However, the first step in regaining the faith of the Washington fanbase is to go out and get a quarterback who can win football games. After the front office whiffed on the second overall draft pick in 2012 with quarterback Robert Griffin III, was unable to sign quarterback Kirk Cousins to an extension and failed on the Alex Smith signing due to a significant injury that may be career ending, the team must go out and get a quarterback. Ultimately a team cannot win a Superbowl with backup caliber quarterbacks such as Colt McCoy and Case Keenum.

After the uncertainty with the knee injury of quarterback Alex Smith, the team knew that they must make a move in the offseason to sure up the quarterback position. However, the first move that they made proved that the front office and ownership are satisfied with continued mediocre results– the signing of journeyman quarterback, Case Keenum.

Case Keenum has proven to be a below average quarterback in his NFL career and will not be able to lead the Redskins to the Superbowl. In Keenum’s time in the league, he has only led one team to the playoffs, the 2017 Minnesota Vikings. This team, according to Pro Football Reference had the number one defense in the league as well as many weapons on offense such as star wide-outs Stefon Diggs, Adam Thielen and Kyle Rudolph.

The Redskins do not have the number one defense in the league or top wideouts. Therefore, the team must make a flashy move and sign or draft a quarterback who can rejuvenate the fan base and have the ability to lead the team to a Superbowl or playoff appearance.

Instead of basking in mediocracy, the team must regain the faith of the fanbase and get back to the glory days when the franchise played in Robert F. Kennedy stadium in Washington D.C. The days where the stadium would rock, the off-seasons where a front office could properly build a team and an owner who was committed to winning. After years of losing seasons, the fanbase has dwindled and suddenly the team cannot even fill up FedEx Field to its full seating capacity.

The owner and front office are seemingly asking themselves every offseason about what they can do to get the fans engaged once again. Numerous children in D.C. do not even list the Redskins as their favorite team due to continued lackluster results. The fanbase is dwindling quickly and the team must find a way to change the look immediately.

The most obvious answer is to draft or trade for a quarterback who can provide spark to the team like Joe Theismann and Doug Williams did in Washington in their times as quarterbacks. The Redskins need a franchise quarterback who they can build around for years; a player who can provide a spark to the fanbase as well as recruit and bring big name players to the district.

Instead of continuing to search for mediocre stop-gap quarterbacks, the team must immediately make a move. The owner should not continue to expect warm welcomes to FedEx Field if he continues to degrade a former perennial contender football team to an annual laughing stock of the league franchise.

The College Admissions Scandal, Hate the Player and the Game

   A major story that has recently been making the rounds is the so-called college admissions scandal that wealthy parents paid to get their unqualified children into schools that they would not have otherwise gotten into.

   The scandal erupted on March 12 when Massachusetts District Attorney, Andrew Lelling, held a press conference announcing charges against coaches, parents, and college advisors accused of bribery, fraud and racketeering. This network, headed by William Singer, operated from 2011 to 2019 and reportedly assisted hundreds of wealthy families.

   One of the reasons for the prominence of this story is the sheer audaciousness of the acts Singer and his clients allegedly committed. Singer set up a fake non-profit organization, The Key Worldwide Foundation (KWF), that purported to assist disadvantaged youth, however, the “donations” that parents gave to the KWF went into Singer’s pockets or were used to bribe officials. Singer paid out bribes to test proctors who looked the other when the KWF switched out results, sports coaches who accepted students onto their teams who never played the sport and a college administrator.

   One wealthy couple caught up in the scandal is Lori Loughlin, star of Full House, and Mossimo Giannulli, a famous fashion designer. They allegedly paid around half a million dollars to Singer to gain their two daughters admission into the University of Southern California through the crew team even though neither had competitively rowed before.

The trail of bribery and corruption is truly massive, covering five states and bringing criminal charges against 50 people. These entitled parents cheated their children into schools in which they did not belong and took away spots from deserving students. However, to some extent, all of this outrage seems somewhat manufactured. Especially, when it comes from wealthy newscasters and celebrities that have more or less done the same thing.

If you are rich, you are going to get into a good college whether you deserve to based on merit or not. That is how the current system is designed. In America, education is a rationed commodity, to a large extent given out on the basis of wealth. The parents who gave to the KWF were certainly more brazen than other rich parents, but the result is the same whether they provide an endowment to a school or pay a bribe to an athletic coach; a wealthy student gets into college at the expense of their less privileged counterpart.

Additionally, the practice of legacy admissions is another way in which elite members of society can maintain their position. If a parent goes to a college that in no way means that their child should get a leg up, but that is how it works. The outrage that people are expressing over this scandal only makes sense if they believe that college admission is a meritocratic process in the first place. It isn’t.

Like everything else in America there are meritocratic elements to college admission, but due to generational wealth and social capital as well as historical inequality, there is no real equal opportunity. This is why it doesn’t make sense to single out the parents in this scandal. If Americans take a systemic approach to the issue, it becomes clear that the only just solution is to decommodify higher education, as part of a broader societal transformation to level the playing field. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not shedding a tear for these families, but I think Americans are misplacing their righteous outrage on symptoms of a much larger and fundamental problem.