St. Mary's College to Host NCAA Championship

In a joint press conference this morning, NCAA President, Miles Brand, and St. Mary’s College of Maryland Acting President, Larry Vote, announced that St. Mary’s College will host the Championship game of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament on Monday. Structural problems at the original site forced the NCAA to find a new location.

Vote said, “I got the call a few nights ago and jumped at the opportunity. I think students will really enjoy the game.”

“St. Mary’s really is the ideal location,” said Stacey Osburn, NCAA spokesperson. “There are some safety and logistical concerns but we are confident that given the time before the game, we will be able to overcome them.”

When asked about the game’s expected 50,000 person attendance, Tony Brooks, head of Public Safety, said, “we are confident that we can ensure the safety of students and players alike. We actually just got new uniforms, so I think we are good.”

Dean Laura Bayless was on hand for the press conference and said, “the one thing we will not tolerate is negative cheers. We have drawn up a list that will be posted to the NCAA website and St. Mary’s Site of acceptable cheers.” The list includes classics such as ‘go team’, ‘great game out there’ and ‘Bayless rocks’.

Despite the lack of preparation time for Monday’s game, college officials believe the game will be a great success and go a long way to filling the school’s financial needs. “The game is expected to bring the school about $8 Million in ad and ticket reveunes and the NCAA will pick up most of the costs, so it’s pretty much all profit,” said Tom Botzman, Vice President for Business and Finance.

Tickets go on sale at noon today.

This article is not real. Happy April Fools!

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