Horoscopes Fresh From The Vine

Predictions by Maeve Ballentine.

Aries- Stop! I could have dropped my croissants!

Taurus-Oh my god they were roommates.

Gemini-I love you b***h. I ain’t gon never stop lovin’ you, b***h.

Cancer-FR E SH A VOCA DO

Leo-I thought you were bae…turns out you were just fam.

Virgo- When there is too much drama at school…all you gotta do is…walk awaaayaayaay.

Libra-Is there anything better than p***y? Yes, a really good book.

Scorpio-I want a church girl that go to church. AND READ HER BIBLE.

Sagittarius-Well when life gives you lEMONS.

Capricorn-Hurricane Katrina? More like hurricane tortilla.

Aquarius-This is the dollar store, how good can it be?

Pisces-YOU NOT MY DAD!

Disclaimer: This article was published as a part of our April Fools Edition.

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