Where Do Our Newspapers Go on Admitted Students Day?

Published on behalf of Eddie Tor

C’mon you guys, seriously? We get it. We write about controversial things. We write about the Staff Union. We write about the lights being sabotaged. We write about the poop guy. You think we WANTED to write about the poop guy? No. But we did, because somebody had to.

You, whoever you are out there moving the newspapers (or coordinating their removal- more on that later) don’t want incoming students to see it. To be honest, I used to be mad about this, but arranging a table of your student newspaper where there ISN’T an article that’s critical of the College, Administration, whatever, is actually really hard. I couldn’t do it. But I tried to explain to the prospective students that we cover things the students really need to know, and try to promote transparency and integrity and to make the College a better place. That we put the tough things on page one, but the happy Features a few pages in- if you actually take the time to read the newspaper, you’d know that. But anyway, I know it’s hard to be all happy-go-lucky all the time and put on a pretty face for the prospective students, and I really do want them to want to come here (and to join the newspaper staff). So I’ll accept a compromise on this one.

I get that somewhere, in some musky tunnel system (or perhaps the fallout shelter under Calvert Hall), the College is housing little green gremlins who run around and hide the newspapers whenever the College gets bad press.

I support the gremlins, and I don’t want them to lose their jobs (assuming they are paid for their efforts, which may be too much to ask of this Institution), so I will not be upset if the papers are hidden on New Student days, as long as you make the gremlins put them back after.

It’s possible, though, that gremlins aren’t the culprits. If you or someone you know has hidden or stolen large quantities of the newspapers to build a papier-machêt nest, call 240-895-2150 and report your crimes. It is not too late to get help.


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