New Controversial Counter-Burlesque Club Sells a Ticket

“It’s a club for those people who really have nothing to do. Like really, really don’t have anything to do.” This is what the president of the Euqselru club, alternatively called Counter-Burlesque, said  in an interview last Wednesday.

The club, which will be hosting its first show in a week, is a response to the popularity of Burlesque on campus and attempts to subvert all established expectations of the genre.

Instead of removing clothes, the Counter Brulesuq club attempts to be edgy by keeping them on. “More than that,” a club member explained, “We add clothes.” All performances have layers and layers of outfits to add throughout the performance. Sweatshirts, under armor, socks, and turtleneck sweaters are only some of the articles of clothing worn or added by the members on stage.

The performance, however, has become marred with controversy and, in an extreme case, injury. “We put on so many layers that it’s hard to move,” the club president explained in an interview.

Other performers have unveiled similar discomforts, such as the freshman student that reported “It’s suffocating. I can’t even bend over anymore, I wear so many layers of clothes” or the junior who has developed a sudden phobia of wearing any clothes at all.

One particular member, who joined the club at his mom’s behest, reported an especially alarming incident in which he fell on stage and was unable to get up. This student, who called the experience “terrifying” and “life-changing” was stuck on his back for over five minutes while fellow club members attempted to help him up. These fellow students, however, faced both the challenge of their own outfits and the weight of the seventeen sweatshirts worn by the fallen member. “It was chaos,” said a member who quit after the incident, reporting that his two weeks in the club had scandalized him.

Responding to allegations of the controversy surrounding the club, the president explained that “art requires sacrifices of all kinds. If you’re not willing to put yourself out there enough to wear 15, 16, even 20 coats, then this isn’t for you.”

This is only one of the multiple problems the club has faced since its founding in the beginning of March. Other troubles have revolved around the naming of the club. The unanimous decision of the single club president was that it be called Euqselru, despite the obvious difficulties of pronunciation around the name.

The enthusiastic vice president of the club explained that there is, indeed, a proper way to pronounce it.  “There’s a lot of silent letters,” she explained. “Like the q, s, l, r, and b– they’re all silent. So its just the vowels–Eueu.” She further voiced disbelief and disappointment that people around campus had yet to figure this out. “I think it just shows how a lot of people at St. Mary’s aren’t ready for us yet. We really push the boundaries, you know?”

Despite both injuries and difficulties with naming, however, the club is set to put on their first performance on April 5. As of April 1, they have sold a single ticket. Members report being “ecstatic” and “thrilled” at this success and the club president remains optimistic about further attendees, saying  that his “other parent might come too.”


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