Every Banana Has A Purpose

Photo Courtesy of Sydney Jupitz

Contrary to popular belief, there are no bad or ugly bananas (I have no sources to confirm this claim is indeed contrary to popular belief; however, I will proceed with this supposition). Of course, people have preferences regarding bananas. For example, my roommate prefers green to yellow bananas while I prefer yellow to brown bananas. (This set-up proves to strengthen our friendship and we maintain a healthy relationship of sharing and swapping bananas). Now, my fellow banana lovers will be able to concur that with the color variation comes change in texture and taste. That’s hitting 3 of our senses! The greener bananas have a chalky texture and bitter taste. The yellow-brown bananas are sweeter and softer. Naturally, there are arguments for the health benefits of each. This is irrelevant to my argument. Healthy schmealthy. (no this is not a sexual innuendo, we are strictly speaking bananas)

So let’s talk about bananas. But first, shout out to the Great Room for semi-consistently putting out bananas for me and my household to have. Come Sunday after brunch, my house has about 11 bananas. We eat most of these (if not all) by the next week. You would think we would have no problem with brown bananas considering our turnover rate, but indeed we consistently find ourselves stuck with these mushy messes. In our collective 84 years, we have managed to come up with a multitude of ways of using our bananas.

Of course, there’s the classic banana in cereal dish. This is a personal favorite of mine. That’s a lie; I love bananas in all forms. Anyway, another solid option is freezing bananas (please appreciate the pun). Frozen bananas are great for smoothies, or even just snacking. Frozen bananas double as the base for nice-cream (which is termed as such because of its amazing resemblance to ice-cream without any animal products). I am sorry to all of those with peanut allergies, you guys are seriously missing out on bananas with peanut butter. Bananas, peanut butter, and chocolate is hands down the best combination of flavors ever (yes this is an opinion piece, but I’m still right). Oh and don’t even get me started on cooking with bananas. Let me tell you, my housemate makes the most delicious banana bread I have ever tasted (even better than my Nanna’s but please don’t tell her). One time my housemate made banana muffins and I, for sure, thought that these would be lesser than the usual – you know, probably dry or something. Yeah, no; I was wrong.

If you’ll forgive me, I would now like to rattle off a very long list, and certainly extraneous run on sentence about just some of the other purposes and uses of bananas. We have banana pancakes (thanks Jack Johnson), banana and yogurt, almond banana granola (I made this recently 12/10 would make again), chocolate covered bananas, banana splits, banana Nutella crepe (writing this is making me hungry, just to be honest), BANANA CHIPS, strawberry and banana anything, bananas in cookies… The craziest part about all of this is that there are approximately endless variations on all these recipes.

Note: I am not even mentioning the non-edible ways to use banana such as Banana Republic, the OG knock-knock joke, sabotaging other racers in Mario Kart, banana bikes (side note: shout out to the tandem bikers; I love seeing those on campus) and of course, sexual innuendos, just to name a few off the top of my head. We would be remiss not to comment on the beautiful construction of the word “banana.” Gwen Stefani taught us how to spell it first. But I mean just look at it, if you squint a little, the word banana almost creates the shape of a banana. What great imagery to match excellent repetition of letters and pattern of consonants and vowels.

Perhaps this article makes you think a minute or two about what creative uses you may have for bananas. I certainly had fun with it. At any rate, I hope you find it to have been some comic relief from the current news themes. Until next time, enjoy your bananas!

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